2012

Happy new year everyone! Sometimes its hard to believe were already in the year 2012, it kinda sounds funny to say..2012. I sure thought I would be at such a different place in life by now. Its funny how we make our plans, and things tend to go totally opposite of what we had planned. I thought for sure I'd have children by now, but here I am, and that hasn't happened yet. It seems to happen around me all the time, each of my closest friends have children or are pregnant now. I think often, "why hasn't it happened for me yet", what am I doing wrong. It just really seems unfair. To have tasted of the joys of being pregnant and then to have that stripped away is just not fair at all. I feel like I missed out on so much, and I want that experience so bad. I'm trying to believe with all my might that 2012 is going to be the year that we conceive and birth a healthy child. And that my friends is a full time job; believing that it will happen. Keeping the faith in God, that He is going to bring it to pass. I have no choice but to believe Him, I didn't believe for so long, and I still struggle with whether it will happen or not, but I fight thru it. I'm going to make an intentional effort to focus my energies toward standing on what God promised our family. I don't believe God would watch us go thru something so very tragic and not give us a reward for the things and pain we endured.