Here I Am

I never imagined I would make it this far. 1 year later, here I am, still alive. Its truly a miracle because there have certainly been times within this year that I have wanted so badly to just die, I thought I would be better off dead because the pain seemed too unbearable. But, here I am, thank God. I know He still has a plan for me because I'm still here. I would like to take this time to encourage those mothers who are new in their journey. Those 1st few weeks can seem so unreal and most of the time you're numb. If I were face to face I would give you a great big hug, cry with you, and tell you with certainty that it will get easier. I don't think the pain disappears, but everyday life will get smoother. Some days will be better than others. My top advice is always: don't put yourself on a timeline, grieve as you need to. As I think back to this time last year, I was walking around like a zombie, so dazed and confused, so grief stricken and so hurt. But here I am a year later, I'm not perfect, but I get a little bit stronger day by day. Some days I can do nothing but cry and hide out from the world, then some days, I smile a lot, I'm happy and I have a drive for life. So don't feel like you should be in a certain place on your journey, just take it slow.