Wow! It is really hard to believe its been 2 whole years since I gave birth to my sweet little baby boy. I vividly remember the day. Only this time when I think about my son, I don't cry, I'm not instantly saddened by the thought. I do still wonder what life would be like if he were here. But mostly I thank God for bringing me to where I am today. I can remember the date last year, I was so anxious and nervous about how I would feel on his birthday, but this year as the date approached, I was not anxious at all, I had decided that I was going to face the day and that I was going to be okay. And my day was just fine. Of course I thought of baby Tre as soon as I woke on Tuesday morning. While I was cleaning yesterday I did come across his ultrasound pictures and I teared up a bit, I can go back to that day and how happy I was and how happy he was, just bouncy and unaware of the trouble that lie ahead. Oh well, here we are on April 12th and I am missing him like crazy, but I am not depressed, I am not paralyzed by anxiety or sadness....I am....living, yep, that's it, I'm living. The best I know, thanking God for where he has brought me. I realize that Eddie and I are still on our quest to have children and it keeps getting more and more difficult, but, when we are finally blessed with our children, we will love them until the day we both die, we will appreciate them and we will tell them how much they mean to us.
Parents, please cherish your precious children because someone wishes to be in your shoes and you never know other peoples struggle. So the next time you want to pull your hair out because they are driving you nuts, just think about that family who longs to have their empty arms filled with joy by holding a child of their own.
