One year

What a difference one year makes! This time last year I was laying in a hospital room drifting in and out of consciousness. I wanted to just give up on life, literally, I didn't want to live anymore. I had wished so many times(and I even said out loud that I wished I would die during the surgery) that I would die because at times the pain was too much for me to handle, and yes, life can give you more than you can handle. I know that everyone says God won't put more on you than you can bear, but life and situations can definitely do it.
As I reflect on this time last year, I have to give God all the praise and glory because I know it has to be Him who has brought me this far. Even when I was so angry with Him and pretty much hated him because I felt like He disappointed me, He was still there right by my side. Sometimes I wonder why God loves us so much when we treat Him so bad, His love is truly amazing. Some days I feel like I'm not my "old" self, but I guess I will never be my old self. Life experiences can change who we are at the very core and that's probably normal. I would like to encourage some mother who is feeling at her worst and feeling like she has nothing else to live for; don't give up on life, not now, please. Your story of endurance will touch the lives of many, and there were and still are days where I felt I would never get to the "other side" of this sadness and depression, but I'm slowly walking that way. I feel my steps getting a little easier and my path is getting clearer.
I miss my sweet baby boy more than ever, and on days like this where the rain is falling and its a bit gloomy out, I just wish I was holding him in my arms giving him the comfort that only a mother can give. I would give anything to hold him and gaze into his precious eyes. There is a small amount of sadness in my heart because of what I do not have at this moment, but there is also a light for what I do have.... My Life. Let's all be grateful.

What to do and say when a friend loses a baby

Here is a link to a wonderful article that was shared with me by one of the members of the yahoo support group I'm a part of. Please read and pass along to all of your family and friends.
http://liferearranged.com/2011/06/what-to-dosay-when-a-friend-experiences-loss-infant-lossmiscarriage/